Overview of the New Facebook Status Feature

Facebook has tons of features and options, many of which are used in complete earnestness. Many of them aren’t. For evidence: Open Relationship, Married, Engaged, and Complicated. I estimate 90% of all these entries are by used by girls who think they are funnier than they actually are.

The new feature to be victimized by would be wise guys is the magical status thing. Implemented just a few days ago, I present a survey of how people are using it, based on a sample of my friends list.

Basically here is how its being used, based on my sample. Only a third of all the status messages are sincere, and even fewer are useful or accurate considering how long ago they were updated. A sixth of them are meta-commentary on what they thing of the new status feature, surprisingly high in my opinion. The other half of all entries, are just jokes of varying stripes.

UPDATE:What happens since the novelty of the feature has faded?

Sincere
Alex is написать расписание.
Frank is at the library.
Chloe is sweaty and smelly and sleepy and sipping water and somehow going to be alright.
Amanda is in dorm doing a paper.
Yolanda is singing along to Arthur songs!
Daniel is at home.
Laura is getting mystery rolls of film developed before heading off to the factory.
Rebecca is sick in bed.
Rebecca is surrendering sanity to Austen, Gaskell, Trollope, and Dickens.
Brett is at home.

Jokes
Julianna is drinking forties and shooting dice.
Galen is dead.
Meagan is plotting a world take-over.
Katie is walking on air.
Jeremy is choppin' headz.
Lauren is learning what it means to be pinkoh.
Tyler is good looking.
Emma is tired of Jack being a whinny butt
Tanner is zufrieden.
Jolene is Hoing out Keri and Matt...any takers?
Mandy is straight thuggin'.
Christine is building panda traps.
Whitney is in class.
Logan is smoking rock
Jenny is awesome.

Meta-Commentary
Janet is not telling you where she is HAHAHA.
Jacob is very sad that facebook is trying to supplant AIM away messages.
Becky is refusing to appease facebook by using their new features OH SHI.
Alex is not answering this ever.
Kevin is thinking that for every new thing facebook comes up with, he will drink five shots.