Monday, March 13, 2006

What’s In A (Slutty) Name?

So my new love is the Slut-O-Meter. This is no secret. It has some pretty silly uses, but on the other hand, there is some potential for some cool pseudoscience. Theoretically it is a pretty good measure of how much a particular word or phrase is associated with obscene and explicit content. So, I sort of touched on it this the first time I mentioned the Slut-O-Meter, but the idea bears further investigation. Let’s solve this great dilemma of modern science:

What makes a name slutty?

There are a couple of traits that I can think of. The first and most obvious is the Sluts Who Came Before. If your name is Paris, Pamela, or Jenna, your name carries quite a bit of Slut currency by mere virtue of your more famous counterparts. Really, this is all the Slut-O-Meter can test: How much explicit material is associated with a particular pre-existing identity.

This is cool, but not nearly as interesting to me as the idea that certain traits of certain names are intrinsically sluttier than others. Some names just trip a slut alarm in my head. More than that, some spellings of some names trigger the slut alarm.

One of these was the “i” instead of the “y” on the end of names. My initial investigation failed to find any instance of a name where the “i” version was sluttier, destroying my preconceived notions of what is slutty. Fortunately I was able to come up with a few counterexamples to justify my ridiculous beliefs.

Jenny -3.41%
Jenni 9.74%
Cindy -0.18%
Cindi 44.6%
Brittany 10.83%
Brittani 22.68%

So I guess we can’t whether the “i” for “y” replacement makes a name slutty due to the mixed conclusions. There appears to be no definitive answer on this one yet. But there are other weird things that make a name slutty, at least in my eyes. I submit this list for your consideration.

1. k instead of c
2. y instead of an i in the middle of a name
3. uncommon variant of a name
4. uncommon name

The last two work on a scale. The less common a variant of a name it is, the sluttier it is. And as for the last one, my bet is that as the name gets reduced in frequency, that it gets sluttier. Are any of these true? We’ll test them in the coming days.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

excuse me, but yo mamma substituted a y for an i in the middle of a name in the 70's.

11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and, Kellen is an uncommon name.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you think credit crunch affected porn?


7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any idea how credit crunch affected porn?

interracial sex

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?

interracial sex

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like sluts

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met a girl last week nice and young. She is a school teacher. The same day she begged me to take her home and bang her as hard as i could in melbourne. Her name was samantha forbes but like to be called Victoria weathers when doing her doggy style... she was awsome.. also sucked me off for an hour in her grey mazda 3.

9:22 AM  

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